No More Blinking

Not that I won't blink again, but hopefully there won't be as much time between posts on my blog. Many know my mom passed away back in January. Many also know the difference when you lose a parent. My dad who lives with us, had a very set routine, get up at 5, get dressed and then out the door to the nursing home where mom was. She was non-communicative in the last year or two, slowly slipping away. I actually felt like she left a while back, so when she did die, I was happy for her. She had to be in a better place. After all was said and done, I then started to concentrate on my father.

He has lived with us for 3 years. He has found his way since mom's death. He paid for her nursing home out of pocket. Probably one of the better things we did along with dad, was to find a group that handles nothing but elder care law. They were able to make sure we adhered to any and all laws pertaining to mom's application to Medicaid. Once Medicaid kicked in, mom's nursing home was paid by the system. No more out of pocket for dad.

There have been a couple of times that he would go by the nursing home and visit with some of the aides as well as those he became friends with during mom's stay. He has slowly moved away from there and continues to do well. As I have mentioned before, he continues to drive. But he knows that will come to an end soon enough.

My only advice to any one is that if you have not had any of these types of conversations with your parents/elders, find a way to make it happen. The heartbreak of seeing our parents decline is enough without having to navigate the maze of paper and agencies that you will need to contact at the appropriate time. Once you have those conversation with your parents/elders, make sure all the siblings are on the same page. Illness and death has a tendency to bring out a whole different side to all the family members. It can be a bit easier if everyone is mostly on the same page or at least in the same book.

So much to learn and so little time.