New Beginnings

Early August, schools are cranking up. A new beginning. I must admit, I miss the students and many of the faculty, but I don’t miss the meetings, the blood borne pathogen videos, CPR training and most especially the active shooter drills. I fought having them and it became apparent that we needed to do them so that everyone could be prepared. I don’t miss them at all.

To teachers, new, intermediate or seasoned, I hope you have a wonderful year. If I can do anything for you, I am here. Get in touch.

I currently am looking forward to a trip we have planned in October. We are going to the big 5 National Parks in UTAH, along with a two night stay on reservation in Monument Valley. As you know we love to drive, but because we love going west so much, it is getting more difficult to drive a different way and see different things. It’s all good. We will figure it out.

As the school year begins, please know I am here for you and I am more than willing to talk with you if you just need an accepting ear. Life became tough a while back and we need to understand we are all in this together. Don’t be afraid to contact me. No judgements. Please stay safe out there and truly love your students. You could very well be the best thing that happens to them each and every day.

So many questions and so little time. Prayers for you all.

Where Does the Time Go?

Sitting on the balcony of a condo in Lincoln City, OR., I took a break from watching the rhythm of the ocean and listening to the majesty of the waves. I started looking through places that I wrote and saw that it had been 2 years since I last wrote. 

On December 31, 2019, I retired from my position as the Director of Technology at Bishop Dunne Catholic School. I was also a student there from grades 7 - 12. So all total, I spent 50 years of my life at one facility. I retired because of that 50 years and feeling like it was time. I left at December because I started in January of 1976 as an assistant baseball coach. The next year I was full time as a teacher and a coach.

Then Coronavirus 19 became the word of the day. While there was some inkling about something on the horizon, I doubt anyone thought it would become that big a deal. When I wrote 2 years ago, I wondered about how we would handle the mental issues that so many people would have as a result of what we were seeing. Those issues are strong today still. I wish I could do more for so many people.

So where to now? I am one of the lucky ones. I have a wonderful, loving partner, who loves to travel. We have kept a close eye on the numbers of infections, hospitalizations, etc. We kept an eye on them because my 96 year old father lives with us and we didn’t want to bring it home to him. We are all vaccinated, double boosted and have stayed clear of the infection.

In the last 2 years we have snuck out to Myrtle Beach, Yellowstone, Joshua Tree, Death Valley, and currently sit in Lincoln City, OR., on the coast. We drive to all of these places. We enjoy going West more than East. We drive because we want to see the country and not just fly over it. The hotel chain we frequent delivers an electronic key to my phone when we arrive in the town we are staying for the night. We are cautious about where we eat. While we aren’t scared of the virus, we do like to be cautious.

I realize this is kind of all over the place, but I hope to get more focused as I hope to progress this writing.

I hope you have stayed well, I hope you are enjoying where you are in life. Always know, I am here if you wish to talk with someone or need someone to support you.

As always, so many questions and so little time.

Thinking out loud here, or at least on the keyboard.

So we start to open up the cities and the states and the nation.

I started thinking about what is the amount of trauma that teachers will be dealing with once the schools open up? What amount of trauma will students be trying to deal with? But wait, kids are resilient, flexible. Maybe so but they have feelings and emotions and they are missing out on being kids. What about those that have lost friends, relatives, maybe even parents? What if their parents were and are on the front lines? What if they had to run the house while their parents were off being essential? Responsible for online learning in their homes every day. What if their household was one that saw the stats of abuse rise?

What about those on the front line? The medical professionals that were the hand holders while someone took their last breath? Or help by holding a phone for face time because that was the only way those family members were able to see their loved one before they died? What about the front line folks and the separation from their families because they didn’t want to see this disease come into their homes and hurt their families?

What about the lost jobs or the fear of walking in to work with people who don’t take precautions or don’t think it’s real? What about the curve flattening and then a second wave? Who knows?

I know some folks and friends that are dealing with PTSD symptoms from previous days in their lives and how will this affect them? Many of these individuals are teachers or administrators. How will they be able to shoulder their loads and then handle their students loads when our schools open back up? I worry about these things but I also pray about these things.

Some may say don’t worry about it but I love my school and I always thought about the faculty, staff and students as my very own children. It gets that way for many after a certain number of years. It is especially after 44 years at the same place.

Please stay safe out there. Find a buddy and talk out there. Find a prayer and be strong out there. Always know I am here and willing to talk but more importantly I am willing to listen to you talk. I pray each and every day. It is important. But remember most of all I would rather talk to you than pray over you at a service.

So many questions and so little time. But now oh so many prayers.

No More Blinking

Not that I won't blink again, but hopefully there won't be as much time between posts on my blog. Many know my mom passed away back in January. Many also know the difference when you lose a parent. My dad who lives with us, had a very set routine, get up at 5, get dressed and then out the door to the nursing home where mom was. She was non-communicative in the last year or two, slowly slipping away. I actually felt like she left a while back, so when she did die, I was happy for her. She had to be in a better place. After all was said and done, I then started to concentrate on my father.

He has lived with us for 3 years. He has found his way since mom's death. He paid for her nursing home out of pocket. Probably one of the better things we did along with dad, was to find a group that handles nothing but elder care law. They were able to make sure we adhered to any and all laws pertaining to mom's application to Medicaid. Once Medicaid kicked in, mom's nursing home was paid by the system. No more out of pocket for dad.

There have been a couple of times that he would go by the nursing home and visit with some of the aides as well as those he became friends with during mom's stay. He has slowly moved away from there and continues to do well. As I have mentioned before, he continues to drive. But he knows that will come to an end soon enough.

My only advice to any one is that if you have not had any of these types of conversations with your parents/elders, find a way to make it happen. The heartbreak of seeing our parents decline is enough without having to navigate the maze of paper and agencies that you will need to contact at the appropriate time. Once you have those conversation with your parents/elders, make sure all the siblings are on the same page. Illness and death has a tendency to bring out a whole different side to all the family members. It can be a bit easier if everyone is mostly on the same page or at least in the same book.

So much to learn and so little time.

Have you had the Talk – 2

Back in July when I wrote “Have you Had the Talk” I was going to leave it at that. Since that time many things have transpired so I want to start expanding on that a bit as more and more people are talking to me about the same topic.

My siblings and I are fortunate that mom and dad took care of their money and investments. So far there has been little “investment” from the children toward this care but there has definitely been some close scrutiny to make sure things are in place. We have been fortunate that dad has allowed us that access with very little struggle. Looking in to different types of help such as veteran benefits and Medicaid, the difficulty that I have seen is that you have to be almost completely destitute financially in order to go down that path. Since mom and dad handled things well, we would have to play the game of them turning everything over to someone to appear to not have anything and then use those programs. It is important that you take the time to pursue every avenue of help you can, but know that it is time consuming. We are talking about doing what we can for our parents and yet I still believe we can never afford what our parents truly deserve.

 If you have had the privilege of meeting my parents, you know as well as I do they pay their own way. They still have their house which is a mile away from mine. I write out bills for dad on a regular basis and if I am not available, my older sister handles that chore.

Once again, if you haven’t had the talk, don’t wait. Yes, it is hard to do, yes, people don’t want you in their stuff, but having to make decisions when you have no choice and emotions are high is a tough way to go.

So much to learn and so little time.

 

 

A Journey with Jim

Shortly after being asked to be a participant in the life transition of Leanne, I was asked to walk with another parishioner by the name of Jim. Jim had been diagnosed with multiple myeloma. Our first visit was in the hospital where he was being treated. He was there for about a week this time so I made frequent visits as we established a deeper relationship.

I had known the family for some time as their oldest son went to the school I work at and the family were founding members of our parish. Jim was a focused, involved man in the parish, and also as a husband, father, brother. He was a good guy that always looked to get the best out of every situation and person he met. Jim was never caustic that I saw through the years but supportive, caring and gentle.

I was honored to be brought into his life at this time. The chance to see where a person’s faith has brought them and how they are thinking and believing is one that is a true privilege. The love Jim had and showed for people also showed in the people that showered not only Jim, but also his wife and family with love and care in the end. Jim was surrounded by his family, his siblings and other relatives, all doing whatever they could to help Jim to be comfortable in his final days.

His funeral was a true celebration of his life. We laughed and cried and we prayed for Jim, because we now know he is praying for and helping to watch over us. As Jim slept one day while I was visiting (there is a joke in there somewhere I am sure) I did what I have starting doing, I pulled out my phone, opened the Pages app and started writing.

Jim – September 26, 1936 – August 3, 2016

For Jim

I walked in the room and said hello

He turned his head in my direction
The look was one of recognition
He was more relaxed than yesterday
The words of prayer we whispered softly
Then he told me that God had found him
So different from yesterday he was
For he questioned all and was troubled
Yet now he knows and has heard the call
For God has found him and that was all
That Jim needed to make the decision
The family agrees as well as physicians
So home he will go tomorrow morning
But it could be just a spiritual yearning
A life with no pain or age he seeks
A true life with God is what he needs
A good a faithful servant he has been
So thankfully now Jim gets the ultimate win.

June 2016

The words written don’t do him justice. It is important to remember we are all in this together. We are all members of the human race. My hope in these situations is to bring some comfort and understanding to the people I work with. That and to merely be a vessel for the Holy Spirit to work through me to bring these people to their ultimate home.

Jim, you have been a good and faithful servant. May you rest in peace.

So much to learn and so little time.

 

A Man and His Wife

As a deacon in the Catholic Church, I get a lot of opportunities to work with people in different situations. A little more than two years ago I was asked by a woman with terminal cancer to walk with her as she came to terms with her mortality. I would like to think I helped her as she seemed more and more comfortable the closer she got. I can assure you that along the way she taught me a great deal as well. She passed away in early April and her funeral Mass was held at Holy Spirit, which is the Church I am assigned to with the Diocese of Dallas.

She was cremated and her burial was later in Kansas where the family has burial property in a beautiful cemetery in Fredonia. I was able to travel to Fredonia to officiate the burial and visit once again with family and friends of this wonderful woman. The opportunity that was presented was a result of relationships. Relationships that are established early in life as well as relationships that came about later.

While in Kansas, I took the time to do some writing and came up with the following that I want to dedicate to both the husband and wife who were so very generous by allowing me in to their home on a very regular basis. I titled this:

 A Husband’s Wife.

What is the value of a life

Ask the husband who lost his wife
For 50 years they wove their souls
Now we ask for whom the bell tolls
The care that he gave her while she was ill
Could never repay her but she asked for nil
Was love that brought them both together
And love that led them to be better
They are both a shining example to see
For I was the one that got to be
In their home to listen and lead
I even took time with God to plead
To make her well so they could continue
To lead their lives ‘twas a busy venue
Yet they were given those 50 years
And he now knows she has no fears
For in the arms of God she waits
For him to arrive at those beautiful gates
To walk hand in hand in God’s great land
May she rest in peace as part of God’s plan.

June 2016

I still meet with her husband on occasion and he is working though his pain. He is fortunate to have so many loving and caring friends and family to surround him as that is how they led their lives. Always reaching out and being there for others. I continue to learn so much and I am honored to have these opportunities.

So much to learn and so little time.